With so called ‘mutually beneficial’ dating sites growing in popularity in the UK, it seems that many of our young women really do have a price. Former sugar daddy David Montrose tells me about the young women in his life with whom, to him, love was strictly business.
How would you feel if your young daughter told you she was involved with a wealthy and much older man, who lavishes her with gifts and takes her on exotic nights out – and was paying her to do so?
Welcome to the world of David Montrose and sugar daddy dating – a world that is becoming increasingly popular here in the UK.
For the former New York stockbroker – now in his forties – paying young women for the privilege of wining, dining and enjoying other benefits with them was never something he deliberately set out to do.
“I always had an adventurous streak,” he says.
“I was always interested in the ‘no-strings attached’ (NSA) type of relationships, even when I was single and dating. So I figured the best way, as a grown up, to ensure a NSA type of relationship was to venture in the ‘mutually beneficial’ type of relationship.
“A lady I was once seeing had run into financial trouble and asked me to pay her rent for her for a couple of months – I accepted.
“I liked the idea because it gave me some type of control over the situation. By providing benefits, I could still see people and remain somewhat detached at the same time. It was pretty easy to find women for arrangements too.”
After living the Sugar Daddy lifestyle for more than a decade, Montrose – a father and husband – has shared his experiences in his book Sugar Daddy Diary, in which he claims that when it came to his sugar babies, it’s wasn’t just about the sex.
“It is mostly about the companionship and spoiling each other,” he explains.
“Sex is a part of any dating relationship so it is also part of this lifestyle as well, but besides sex I do expect to have chemistry and some type of a connection with the lady otherwise it is not really worth it.”
Sugar daddy dating sites like SeekingArrangement.com – of which Montrose himself is a former member – are completely forward about the form of dating they provide.
Male members have to disclose their annual salary and state how much of an allowance they are willing to give to any woman they are seeking an arrangement with.
Women, or sugar babies – described as ‘attractive, ambitious and goal oriented individuals who have a lot to offer’ on SeekingArrangement’s website – do not have to undergo such a vetting procedure.
With so many attractive young women to choose from, Montrose always knew exactly the sort of sugar baby he was looking for.
“I look for the girl next door type who is perhaps trying to get out of debt,” he says.
“I also like women with goals and aspirations, not purely driven by material things and shopping. They must have a good head on their shoulders, and the right combination of looks and smarts.”
And with Montrose himself willing to spend up to $3,000 a month on each of his sugar babies, it’s hardly surprising to learn that he was able to come to many arrangements with a variety of women over the years.
“I have met many ladies who were classy and a real pleasure to meet,” he says.
“But, as in everything, there are always people who try to do the wrong thing. There were certain cases where some women tried to take advantage of me: such as trying to squeeze out gifts or money right from the start before even an arrangement was discussed.”
Although sugar daddy relationships are, by their very nature, based on convenience and motivated largely by financial gain, he admits that there were times when he began to develop true romantic feelings for some of the women he had arrangements with.
“If I was not married, or if I was closer to their age, those arrangements would have evolved into a relationship just like any other.
“Sometimes I still think about them and in a couple of cases I wish they had lasted a lot longer. It is difficult at times, but it is the reality.”
Many might expect that living the life of a sugar daddy is something a man might want to keep quiet, but Montrose himself has become a prominent figure in the sugar daddy world after setting up a blog where he regularly posts advice and dating tips for both sugar daddies and babies seeking to get the most out of their own arrangements.
“I’ve always liked to write and I found that it helps me think about the various experiences I have been through,” Montrose explains.
“Writing is even like therapy to a certain extent: by writing we can understand our life deeper. Also, I wanted to tell one man’s story about this.
“I get a lot of emails asking me questions about this lifestyle, so by writing the book I thought I could share my opinion.”
For a lifestyle that originated in the United States, Montrose says he is not surprised to see the sugar daddy dating growing in the UK, despite our traditionally more conservative attitudes to love and sex.
“This lifestyle seems to be growing everywhere,” he says.
“You constantly read all these stories about individuals and dating, so it’s bound to happen everywhere, UK included.”
Having first tasted the sugar lifestyle soon after become a father, is Montrose ever concerned about what his children may think of his arrangements?
“When I was very active in this lifestyle my children were too young to understand or know anything about this,” he explains.
“Now that they are growing I am trying to keep it a bit ‘quieter’. After all, not everyone is as open minded as some of us in the sugar lifestyle.”
While his sugar daddy status will likely leave some in Britain shocked, Montrose says he has absolutely no regrets about indulging his sweet tooth.
“I try not to think about any morality aspects of it,” he says.
“I just want to go out, meet people and have some fun. I’m not embarrassed.”